As I began to feel worse and worse, I knew I had to change some things in my life. It is hard to predict from one day to the next, how I will be feeling physically and emotionally. Beginning in January 2013, I had to start cutting hours at the AMVETS because I felt SO lousy most days. I would DRAG my butt out of bed, and get to work in the morning to at least do the book work, then stay as long as I could handle it. It is hard to wrap your head around going to work when you are so sick, but I felt I HAD to because no one else was there to do the work.
In February and March, I began to realize that I could not continue to work everyday, this is something that is very hard for me to come to terms with! We tend to create our “identity” according to our career, and now I again have to give up my career. It is easier this time than when I got fired a couple of years ago, this time it is MY decision. I have to do what is BEST for ME, whatever it takes to get better!
I started treatment the day after Valentine’s Day, and now I will fight with everything in me to beat this beast that is trying to take over my body! I have started a part-time job at Farm Bureau, and PRAY that I can manage working part-time. Even 2 -3 days a week is very hard for me now, I never know when or where the pain will hit. I am in pain, I am SO tired, I am SO emotional, (wow, I cry over EVERYTHING!), but I am SO determined to WIN! I am SO thankful to God for my family and friends who are here to support me. I am thankful for the precious moments when I “forget” how bad I feel, like when I am playing with my grandkids!
I need your prayers, I need your help. Wow, did I really just ask for help?? Who is this person that asks for help??!!? lol! That is one of the hardest things for me to do. That means admitting that I can’t do it myself.
Help me Lord! My healing is in Your hands…
Borrelia burgdorferi, the spirochete that causes Lyme Disease. FA stain (CDC) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I finally accepted the Lyme treatment protocol, and began traveling to Missouri to see a Lyme Literate Dr. early in 2011. Let’s get rid of these little buggers!! During those months of treatment, there were days when I wasn’t sure if it was the Lyme Disease killing me or the medication! You see, even though you are “getting better”, you at times will feel AWFUL! The pain can be unbearable at times, and show up ANYWHERE, unannounced and unexpectedly! The Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction (referred to as “Herx” often) is believed to be a reaction caused by the bacteria dying off and releasing toxins into the body faster than the body may comfortably handle it. This herxing is very discouraging, because it is hard to understand why you feel WORSE, when you are supposed to be getting better! During this time, I lost my job as an Office Manager after being there for 7 years! I was SO heartbroken, but God knew, that this would be the ONLY way that I would stop, be still, and heal. The worst part, my husband had recently lost his job! So there we were, totally brought to our knees, praying to God to help us!
This is my first attempt at blogging, so please be patient with me! My hope is to raise awareness for Lyme Disease, and assist others along their journey. I share my story with you, as “therapy” for myself and just maybe it will help someone else along the way. This picture is the beginning of Laurie’s Lyme Life. It is the bullseye that I developed in August of 2009, a few days after my mom-in-law pulled a tick from the right side of my back. (NOT a Deer Tick, by the way!) What started as a little red spot, turned into this angry, raised bullseye about 3-4 inches in diameter. This is the POSITIVE sign that you have been infected by Lyme Disease. Unfortunately, only 50% of those with Lyme actually remember having any type of bullseye or rash. This is why there are THOUSANDS of people suffering from this debilitating, deadly disease, and they have NO IDEA what is making them sick!